f u c k
MiserableAnd I can't stop thinknig about her.
She's in everything; if we fought about it, it reminds me of her. If we liked it, if we disliked it, if we were indifferent to it. If we wanted something or needed something.. I can't listen to one of the best songs one of my favorite bands has ever written because it was "our song". Shit, I'd probably never go see them again in concert if I got the chance because when I did, it was with her.
I've dated other girls, and loved them for who they are. I want a new girlfriend.
But I can't keep myself from thinking about her. If I try not to during the day, I dream about her. The dreams are always so vivid. I feel like she's there, holding me or talking. I still remember her voice and her smell and the way she felt and tasted. I still have her curves and scars memorized, I remember every fleck of gray in those big blue eyes of hers that I was such a sucker for.
A while back, I was cleaning my room and found a cd she had burned for me. I sobbed. I screamed and threw it and wrecked my near-clean room. What got to me wasn't even that it was from her, but it had her handwriting on it.
I want her to be happy, and she says she is without me. I have no reason to doubt her. But why am I STILL so unhappy? Am I selfish for wanting to be happy too? For wishing I could hate and forget her the way she tossed me aside?
What do I do?
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